


Even the darkness is blind

by Yeonbeanie



Series: The new blossom grows [1]
Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Arranged Marriage, Choi Soobin Needs a Hug, Choi Yeonjun needs a hug, Drummer Choi Soobin, Everyone needs a hug if I'm being honest, M/M, Real writers would yeet themselves off a cliff if they knew this existed under the angst tag, Rich Choi Yeonjun, Secret Relationship, Soobin is a gentleman, also Ryujin's only mentioned there's nothing going on, because my yeonbin heart lowkey kinda doesn't like txtzy, but i tried, no love or sexual acts or anything at least, verbal consent bishes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:22:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28116873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yeonbeanie/pseuds/Yeonbeanie
Summary: “baby?” his voice was soft and deep, and it made shivers dance down Yeonjun’s spine as he leaned in closer to pepper kisses along the side of Yeonjun’s neck. “I’m gonna ask you one last thing as your boyfriend, and you’re gonna say yes okay?"“okay.” He finally whispered. Soobin tilted his head down and captured the brunette’s lips in a sweet kiss before pulling away, and all Yeonjun could think about was how he’d never wanted to finish a kiss so badly before.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Series: The new blossom grows [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2159406
Comments: 6
Kudos: 78





	Even the darkness is blind

**Author's Note:**

> So I was about to start writing a fanfic, i had the plot planned out and everything, but then this old taylor swift song started playing outa nowhere and this was all I could think about, so...yeah. also rip yeonjun's bachelor party my boi didn't even get a stripper *dabs away the tears*

_“I know heaven’s a thing, I go there when you touch me_

_Honey hell is when I fight with you_

_But we can patch it up good, make confessions and we’re begging for forgiveness_

_Got the wine for you_ ”

Yeonjun sang under his breath as he watched everyone mingle together, men and women alike, dressed in top attire and dancing the night away as the band’s lead singer sang softly in the background.

It was a gorgeous summer night. the stars shone brighter than ever and his parents had made sure that the best band in town would be here for the celebration tonight, but it was all in vain. Everything looked so glamerous but Yeonjun couldn’t even breathe, His expensive suit doing nothing short of suffocating him.watching Ryujin dance with her girlfriend while she was barely holding in her tears made him sigh, and suddenly he felt like crying too.

It was his last night as a bachelor. After only 21 years of breathing in peace his parents had decided that he’d had enough and arranged him a marriage with shin Ryujin, the daughter of one of the biggest business owners in Korea. And as much as Yeonjun would love to be the go-with-the-flow kind of person he’d always been and accept the deal, he knew that Ryujin was desperately in love with someone else, just like he was.

In fact, he knew a little too much about her for this to be a complete-strangers-marrying thing. They were like best friends ever since they were kids, and Yeonjun would never be able to look at her like she was anything more than that chubby little girl that had rescued him from his bullies when they’d chased him down the Han River. (and it’s not like he could if the entire universe wanted him to. Choi yeonjun was as straight as an uncooked pack of instant noodles)

Which was why he wasn’t going in and joining the party. Except that was a fucking lie.

Yeonjun took a deep breath, trying to somehow convince himself that walking through the double glass doors wouldn’t kill him, that his parents would never let him live it down if he didn’t make an appearance in his own party, but somehow all he could think about was the boy sitting behind the drums, playing the instrument all night long until his hands could barely hold a glass, his dyed black hair swinging up and down as he nodded his head to every note and every line that their singer Jeongin would belt out. 

The thought of Soobin alone was enough to make yeonjun a nervous wreck.

The party was too quiet for him to fade in the background and go unnoticed by the black-haired boy, and he knew he’d fall too deep and back out of the whole marriage if Soobin did even as little as looking in his direction. he couldn’t help it, he was too far gone. Soobin was too much, too tempting, taking Yeonjun’s breath away with the simplest gestures without even knowing just how much the older boy was in love with him.

maybe even too much, but he didn’t blame himself for it. Not when Soobin was the utterly prefect man he was.

Soobin was tall, but only tall enough for him to be able to bury his head in the younger’s neck. He was muscular, not too bulky like the wrestlers on TV, but strong enough to hoist Yeonjun up and hold him against the wall as they kissed, the older’s long legs wrapped around his tiny waist. He knew exactly which buttons to push, he knew every single one of Yeonjun’s weaknesses and sensitive spots, making him see stars every time. Soobin was too good and too ridiculously handsome and too kind and just the right amount of mean when Yeonjun wanted him to be, and Yeonjun knew he’d never be able to pull back if the younger kissed him one last time. 

So he chose to stand on the deck alone instead, staring at the marvelous starry night revealing itself in front of his eyes and wishing for something, anything that would make this marriage not happen.

“The party’s for you hyung, aren’t you gonna Join?” the younger’s voice ripped its way through Yeonjun’s thoughts, his tone amused as he bumped the brunette's shoulder with his. Yeonjun could swear that god hated him. From the corner of his eye he could see the familiar affectionate smile already forming on Soobin’s lips.

“I don’t need this fucking party.” He whispered under his breath, afraid that he was going to burst into tears if he said it any louder. “I don’t want any of this”

“C’mon, this is your last night as an unmarried man. Don’t you wanna live a little?” Soobin’s hand was resting on the small of Yeonjun’s back, gently stroking up and down.

“baby?” his voice was soft and deep, and it made shivers dance down Yeonjun’s spine as he leaned in closer to pepper kisses along the side of Yeonjun’s neck. “I’m gonna ask you one last thing as your boyfriend, and you’re gonna say yes okay?”

Yeonjun always thought he’d hear those words from Soobin’s lips in a situation so drastically different from this one, but even the mere thought of it felt stupid now. How foolish had he been, to think that they would have a happy ending.

“okay.” He finally whispered. Soobin tilted his head down and captured the brunette’s lips in a sweet kiss before pulling away, and all Yeonjun could think about was how he’d never wanted to finish a kiss so badly before.

“I want you to spend tonight with me, can you do that?”

“but you-

“Shawn’s playing instead of me tonight, don’t worry.”

“o-okay” this was stupid. Not even five minutes ago Yeonjun was thinking how he was gonna break completely if Soobin gave him a reason to, and now he was agreeing to spend a whole night with him. It was the recipe for disaster and he knew that, and yet…

And yet he still couldn’t stop himself from wanting just a little bit more. “okay, I wanna do that”

“Great. Then dance with me.” Soobin said, his eyes forming crescent moons as he flashed his signature smile, dimpled and playful and with a hint of mischief that Yeonjun had grown to love. He grabbed the older boy’s hand, dragging him around the deck and through a small door that Yeonjun guessed was probably for the staff.

Yeonjun was expecting everyone to turn in his direction and start congratulating and showering him with useless well wishes and compliments they didn't mean, since this was his disappointing excuse of a bachelor party after all, but Soobin dragged him through the crowd and behind an abnormally large fake plant so quickly that no one even noticed Yeonjun had entered, and he was grateful for it.

“Tonight you’re not Choi Daniel. You’re just Yeonjun, my Yeonjun.” He whispered in Yeonjun’s ear, his deep voice engulfing the brunette just like his hands were. the smaller boy smiled, hands coming up to rest on Soobin’s shoulders as he wrapped his arms around the Yeonjun’s frail body, foreheads resting against each other.

Soobin’s hands were resting on Yeonjun’s hips, not too low but just low enough for Yeonjun to want them a little lower. The way he held on to the brunette’s hips was firm, holding his body like he was made of glass and like he wanted to break him. and it left Yeonjun wanting more of Soobin’s touch on every inch of his skin. he sighed, tilting his head upwards to steal another kiss.

At first it was languid and slow, both taking their time tasting the other’s lips, tongues tracing intricate patterns onto each other. It was sweet, too sweet, and it made Yeonjun’s head spin as moaned into the kiss. Soobin’s grip on his waist felt heavenly, too tight and just right, and it made yeonjun just a little braver as he slipped his hands in the younger’s raven locks, pulling tightly at any stands of hair he could and pulling Soobin closer, their bodies almost entirely flushed against each other, but it was never enough.

Yeonjun wanted more. He wanted Soobin to hold him tighter,until every part of their souls blended within each other. He wanted the damn clothes off and Soobin all to himself, even if it was only for a few hours.

“please.” He whispered against the younger’s lips, tiny tears finding their way across the soft skin of his cheeks. Soobin took a deep breath, looking as if he was trying to clear his mind for a few seconds before nodding his head.

“okay.”

They took the rusty wooden staircase upstairs, taking 3 turns right and 2 turns left through the maze-like hallways to get to the black door that read ‘Daniel Choi’. Yeonjun opened the door as fast and quietly as he could, leading Soobin in and locking it from the inside. he turned around once he did, eyes skimming over Soobin's frame. and for a few seconds they just stood there, staring at each other in awe.

Yeonjun felt weak in the knees just looking at Soobin. the younger was wearing a simple white dress-shirt with a dark blue tie, black hair still disheveled from earlier. His chest went up and down with every breath he took, lips swollen and eyes looking at yeonjun like an animal, sizing up his petite body like he was predator and Yeonjun was his pray.

The brunette felt small and needy under the younger’s heated gaze, finally giving in and closing the space between them. He sighed in relief as their lips finally met in a bruising kiss that felt frustrated depite their sweet words and pretending like it was all okay.

“do you want to?” Soobin asked; dark eyes already undressing yeonjun in his mind.

“You know the answer to that.”

“I need you to say it babe. Verbal consent.” His tone reminded the older boy of a sex Ed teacher’s, but yeonjun smiled at the boy’s words. Soobin redefined trust in any way possible, and it made Yeonjun so ridiculously giddy and blushy it was ridiculous.

“I, Choi Yeonjun, of sound mind and brain or whatever, hereby state that I want thou to fuck my brains out. Is that good enough?” Yeonjun said, his tone fascinated and amused. Soobin smiled.

“your Shakespearean sucks but it’ll do.” his sweet smile was in complete contrast with the way his skilled hands opened the buttons on Yeonjun’s jacket and dress-shirt, and it made Yeonjun so much more madly in love, how touch-starved he was even though they’d practically memorized each other’s bodies by now.

“I love you, you know that?”

“I might’ve noticed a thing or two.” Soobin replied cockily, chuckling when Yeonjun slapped his arm.

* * *

“H-harder…” Yeonjun moaned before he roughly tugged Soobin down for a messy kiss. The younger complied, ramming inside Yeonjun with an animalistic pace, reaching deeper in him with each thrust of his hips. It didn’t take long for him to find the older boy’s prostate, if the sudden wail and the loud cries of ‘THERE! RIGHT THERE!’ was anything to go by.

“ah...s-so good...” Yeonjun’s sobs were high-pitched and loud, not holding back as the lewd sounds fell from his mouth, spurring Soobin on as he picked up his pace, slamming right against Yeonjun’s sweet spot and rocking the bed with the force of his thrusts. Leaning in, he whispered against Yeonjun’s sensitive ear those three words that always pushed him over the edge.

“I love you.”

And that was all it took for Yeonjun to spill in between their bodies with a weak scream, his hole clenching impossibly tighter around Soobin and making him follow right after.

They rode their high together. Yeonjun sighed as he felt the breeze coming from the small window in his room and softly caressing his skin. His body was still shaking from the intense orgasm, the cold air making him shiver. He felt all gross and wet, but his mind felt completely empty and he had Soobin to thank for that.

“Soobinnie…” he whispered, hands coming up to rest in the younger’s raven locks. He had buried his head in the junction between Yeonjun’s shoulder and neck, wordless and unmoving, Still inside the older boy. “Soobin?”

Everyone always said that men didn't cry, that they were so strong they didn't need to. but in that moment, Soobin didn't feel anything his father had taught him about being a man. He felt weak and helpless, thinking about how much he'd stumbled through life looking for someone to lean on, how desperately he'd wanted Yeonjun to be that one, but the universe had let him down again.

"babe, Are you okay?"

And that was the final hit before the dam broke. _he wasn't_. how could he be okay when life kept giving him the most beautiful things only to take them away? when everytime he thought he finally had what he wanted, he'd lose everything?

Yeonjun could feel the tears spilling on the bare skin of his shoulder, and it wasn’t long before Soobin was shaking uncontrollably in his embrace. There was pain, there was too much of it, and no matter how much he had tried to keep himself together and act like it was just a normal night, everyone has their breaking point.

Yeonjun tried to hold his own tears back, to be the strong one for just once, but all he could think about was how cold he felt even though Soobin was right on top of him. How cold his bed was going to be every night from now on, with no one to keep him company.

“So this is it?” Soobin asked, his soft hair tickling the side of Yeonjun’s neck pleasantly.The brunette swallowed the lump in his throat once, twice, three times before answering.

“I…I can’t risk it with you, bin. If my parents or the shin family find out you’ll be in danger...they can hurt you and everyone around you too...” Yeonjun muffled his own sob in Soobin’s hair, kissing the top of his head. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry”

Soobin leaned back, resting his forehead against Yeonjun’s as he spoke.

“I just…I understand,I really do. But I…I never took you on a real date...or to my parents’ house. Can we not break up just until then? We can end it then. My mom would love you, you know that? even more than me. I could take you there and boast about how cute you are, my sister would be jealous.I’d show you my room and everything. Can we-can we do that one day?” There was hope in Soobin’s teary eyes and Yeonjun wanted to take his heart out of his chest and give it to him.

But he knew it wasn’t possible. As sweet as that sounded, he knew the longer they dragged it out the more painful it’d be. He was afraid that he’d be too selfish to let go then, he was afraid of so many things, Soobin being the top of his list.

“don’t, please don’t make me do something stupid.” He cried out, his hands coming up to frame the younger’s face.

“Soobinnie, my gorgeous, handsome Soobinnie. You have so much ahead of you baby, please stay out of this mess”

“but I want this mess.”

“you don’t know what you’re asking for” he said, taking a deep breath and trying to stop the endless stream of tears, but to no avail. “I can’t stay and watch you get hurt because of me.”

Yeonjun’s voice was barely anything more than a broken whisper as he said the words that hurt him most. “Maybe…maybe you can f-find another boy your mom approves of, yeah?”

Soobin’s hands held on to him in a vice-like grip, too afraid to let go. “But no one will be like you.” He paused, his stare begging Yeonjun as he watched the older wipe the tears from his face.

“I’m sorry” was all Yeonjun said before he leaned in and connected their lips one last time. The kiss was painful despite the intimate position they were in, both boys pouring all of their unshed tears into that simple gesture.

Soobin was rough, almost too rough, biting Yeonjun’s lips to force his mouth open, licking inside the older boy’s mouth and making him break down again, tears slipping down Yeonjun’s cheek as he kissed Soobin just as furiously, not pulling away until they were both out of breath.

Yeonjun bit his lips to suppress a whine as Soobin pulled out of his abused hole, tying the condom and tossing it inside the trashcan next to Yeonjun’s bed haphazardly. _It’s okay_ , Yeonjun whispered under his breath. _This is for the best_ , he tried reasoning with himself, but somehow the more he repeated those words the less he seemed to believe them.

“I…”

Soobin had cleaned them both up and was now dressing quietly when Yeonjun finally got the courage to break the fragile silence.

“I don’t want it to be the end.” He whispered. Soobin stared at him blankly, before he slowly reached and took Yeonjun’s hand in his. if it was any other day, he’d smile at how Yeonjun’s hands fit in his perfectly, as if they’d been sculpted just for each other, but his brain couldn’t quite find those happy thoughts anymore. 

Everything he’d felt with Yeonjun, All of their memories and small fights that always ended up with Soobin apologizing to the older boy one way or another, they all felt like fresh bruises littering Soobin’s heart.

“you know I’ll always be here”

“you don’t know of half the things they could do to us if they found out.” Yeonjun said, sniffling. “please don’t hate me. I…I want you, god, I want you so much. But I can’t…they won’t let you survive.” He was crying again at this point, small tears staining his cheeks as he stared up at the younger boy

“Don’t cry.” Soobin finally said, kneeling in front of Yeonjun’s shaking body and wrapping his arms around his smaller frame. “I don’t hate you. I’ll never hate you.” He repeated like a mantra as he hugged Yeonjun to his chest, burying his face in Yeonjun’s soft hair, reveling in how the dark brown hair felt so soft and smelled so sweet.

“You know, they say that if two people love each other enough, they’ll always end up together. Maybe we can have our happy ending in our next life, yeah?” 

Yeonjun quietly whispered, the tiniest sliver of hope evident in his voice, and Soobin didn’t have the heart to say ‘it’s all bullshit’ like he always said at the end of kai’s endless rants about his past lives. Not when this one stupid thing was the only thing holding his Yeonjun together right now.

He sighed, kissing Yeonjun's hair softly as he registered the words in his head.

“we will, babe.”


End file.
